Preparing your life and home for the arrival of one baby can be overwhelming and when you are planning for two babies even more so. With so much to think about and prepare for it is not uncommon for new parents of twins and even parents with older children already, to overlook or forget obvious things. Here are the biggest mistakes new parents of twins make.
Running Out of Supplies
“Whatever I need I can just order on Amazon Prime.”
Those of us that love to online shop have been spoiled by Amazon Prime quick deliveries, but what about when you run out of something essential such as a diaper for the next round of diaper changes. You never want to be in the situation where you have to run out of the house for supplies such as baby diapers, wipes or formula. You will end up paying a premium price for something that you could’ve saved on by just planning ahead. The point here is to buy in bulk and stock up on baby supplies, before the babies come home from the hospital.
This was a mistake I made with my older singleton daughter and my twins. If you are the type of person that likes a tidy house, wants to straighten things up and pop in multiple loads of laundry a day, then I’m sorry to say but you can NOT do this in the beginning with twins. You have got to make resting and sleeping a priority. New twin Moms oftentimes are recovering from c-section—which people tend to forget is a major abdominal surgery—and you are also caring for two small babies. You have got to prioritize sleep or you will not be able to function. Communicate with your partner, and plan out the times that each of you can get some shut eye.
Buying the Wrong Stroller
I was guilty of this one as well. I went through four strollers until I found the right one for our family. My biggest mistake however, wasn’t that I bought the wrong stroller, it was that I felt guilty that I had spent so much money on this huge piece of baby gear that I felt like I had to keep it, even though I knew it wasn’t working for me and our family. My best piece of advice is to try out the stroller you are thinking of purchasing ahead of time. Call around to different baby stores in the area and see if they have the stroller you are looking to buy on the showroom floor. This will help you to figure out if it’s the right stroller for your lifestyle. And if you happen to make the same mistake I did and buy the wrong stroller, don’t feel like you have to keep it. The sooner you realize it’s not working the sooner you can re-sell it and make some of your money back. You need to truly love your stroller, it’s your lifeline out of the house.
Asking for Help
“I’ve got this guys.” Or “No, thank you, we have meals covered.”
This is one of the biggest mistakes parents of new twins make is not taking up friends and family’s offers to come over and help. The answer is you say YES to everyone that offers. Get as many visitors as you can to come over and plan your naps when they visit. Believe me, as much as your friends and family love you, they want to come over to see the babies and they will be delighted that they were able to help you get some rest.
Neglecting Your Marriage
Natalie Diaz, the Founder and CEO of Twiniversity, the largest global resource for parents of twins, writes in her book, What to Do When You’re Having Two, that “twins can hit your marriage like a hurricane.” This is true when you don’t plan ahead. Just like the nursery preparations and the baby gear, couples often forget to really talk about and plan how the arrival of these two babies is going to impact their relationship. It’s no doubt that time in the beginning will be at a premium, you will be busy trying to establish a feeding (and later sleeping schedule) that it doesn’t exactly leave time for fancy date nights or weekend trips away. But talk to each other, at least once a day, have a real conversation that doesn’t involve your children. Show each other affection by remembering to say I love you (trust me with twin baby fog it’s easy to forget). Remember to be patient with one another and maintain the right attitude.
Being the mother of twins has been one of the greatest blessings. After you emerge from the baby twin fog, the first 8-9 months or so, it is incredible to see your twins interact with and start forming that close relationship that begin inside the womb. It truly is double the kisses and hugs, and double the love.
Crystal Duffy is an author, speaker, teacher, NICU parent advisor, and Mother to three little girls including a set of identical twins. Her memoir, Twin to Twin, details her high-risk twin pregnancy and NICU journey. She runs a support group called Life After the NICU at the Houston Motherhood Center and teaches an expectant twins parents class through Twiniversity. Connect with her on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and her website.
Would you like to join Crystal for her next support group, Life After the NICU, at Motherhood Center? It’s hosted monthly!